Recovery Means:

18 10 2010

Eating disorder recovery sometimes means:

  • Buying fresh, local food, just so it doesn’t have a label.
  • Purchasing single-serve packages of food so that you’re not tempted to short-change yourself and so you don’t have to measure anything.
  • Giving yourself permission to not be ok but going ahead with the general plan anyways.
  • Allowing yourself to scream and rant and cry when needed.
  • Doing what you must instead of what feels good.
  • Finding a quiet, safe outlet.
  • Learning that some things are only feelings.
  • Knowing that the only way to not be afraid of food is to eat it over and over and over.
  • Recognizing that one hotdog cannot make you gain 10 pounds no matter how you feel about it.
  • Learning that your body works the way everyone else’s does.
  • Destroying the scales.
  • Buying new clothes.
  • Getting rid of old clothes that never should have fit.
  • Using a permanent marker liberally on labels, both on food and clothes.
  • Learning that a number is a number is a number.
  • Letting go of the obsessions.
  • Finding that one outfit that makes you feel like a queen.
  • Laughing with friends, dancing in the rain and enjoying the cider or hot chocolate.
  • Realizing that you don’t have to eat less in order to make up for what you might eat later.
  • Learning to love the fact that the lies ED is feeding you don’t fit into your meal plan.
  • Relishing the fact that every bite is a nail in ED’s coffin.
  • And, last, from Carrie: Learning to forgive yourself. (I believe she said, “I ate, hated myself and then forgave myself.”)

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