Hate

2 11 2010

I hate ED with an undying, unyielding passion. Need I say more?

Actually, I do have more to say. I hate this parasite. I hate that he’s twisted my brain beyond the point of recognition. I hate that I think I’d be happy as long as I weren’t fighting him. I hate that he saps my joy. I hate that he prevents me from enjoying the pure, simple company of others. I hate that he makes me so self-conscious. I hate that he warps my thoughts. I hate that he’s latched onto me and won’t let go. I hate that he saps me of energy. I hate that depression follows ED wherever he goes. I hate that he saps me of motivation. I hate that he causes me to spend everything I have fighting to do what others not only do naturally, but enjoy. I hate that my life boils down to a number. I hate that overwhelming anxiety and panic can strike at any minute. I hate that I overanalyze every comment. I hate trying not to cry when I look in the mirror. I hate the fear and self-loathing. I hate the constant verbal abuse that ED dishes out. I hate everything ED has taken from me. I hate being unable to self-regulate.

Simply put, I hate ED.


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3 responses

3 11 2010
The Binge Diary

amen!

9 01 2011
Krystal

I really hope you are okay hun ♥ Is there a new blog entry on the horizon? I know I don’t comment much, but I still read it ((hugs))

8 02 2011
recoveringanorexic

I hope you are okay, noticed you haven’t written in a while.

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