Minor Relapse

27 04 2010

Today was not a good day. . . . . . . all in all, I spent half the day crying over a bowl of soup, and my final calorie count ended up being 1240. That’s a far cry from the 1700 I’m supposed to be at, although it was the best I could do today.

The speed with which eating disorder thoughts and habits set in again astound me. Had today not quickly been nipped in the bud by KY, I would have fallen faster and further than I think I ever have.

Caused by a number of what Nouveau Vie’s Dr. Dan calls “messy life stuff”, this minor relapse let me very clearly know that each day is a battle, a fight, and must be approached one day at a time, and that I am FAR from clear. I must be ever vigilant, watchful, and prepared.

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6 responses

27 04 2010
Jess

I am so proud of you…yes today was a hard but you were willing to do what needed to be done where tomorrow can be a better day. Kea you are the best role model any one could ever have your fight amazes me…Keep on keeping on girl :d

27 04 2010
Andy in Lincoln

Just remember all the people you have in your corner, hon…I wish that was enough to help because I really don’t know what I can do from here. If you think of anything… 🙂

28 04 2010
So-and-so

Hi – your blogging is amazingly honest. Thank you 🙂

I’m taking a poll and would be interested in your feedback: Is internet addiction real?

http://stark-raving-sober.blogspot.com/2010/04/is-internet-addiction-real.html

Also, I recently started my anonymous blog and would like to know if I can add you to my blogroll, here:

http://stark-raving-sober.blogspot.com

Thanks!

So-and-so

29 04 2010
thefarsideofthemirror

You’re very welcome, and I’m glad to see you here. . . . . . . Feel free to add me. 🙂 We’re all fighting addictions of some sort, and to tell you the truth, I’d LOVE to be stark raving sober. 😀

28 04 2010
Jessica

Wait, you’re in Nevada? I live in Reno! I can totally relate to you when it comes to either severely restricting, or binging like crazy (due to the fact that I restrict for so long and then can’t control my appetite once I eat a darned piece of food or simply because I feel like I’ve failed by eating something that I’ll just gorge it down like a wild animal!). I’m not in a treatment center or anything, but I’m trying to recover on my own… it’s tough. I keep relapsing. But I’ve gained like 5 pounds in the past couple weeks and am almost at my lowest but acceptably healthy weight… so… I guess I’m almost there? I dunno. It’s tough :\

Feel free to email me any time! I’d love to chat with you since I feel like I have no one around me that understand what I’m going thru…

29 04 2010
thefarsideofthemirror

I’m don’t live in Nevada; I was there for treatment. Nouveau Vie is a program out by Carson City that is like no other. . . . . .

Recovery isn’t just about getting to a healthy weight, lovie, although that is part of it. . . . . . a big part of it. Changing the fear, anxiety, and apprehension matters, too.

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