Nevada, Day Eight

27 03 2010

0801. Vitals are over, and so is breakfast. I’m gaining weight. . . . . . . I’m 153 today. Last Sunday, I was 151. I have NO IDEA how I can physically POSSIBLY be gaining weight on 1,200 calories a day, but somehow, someway, I am. It shouldn’t be physically possible. I don’t see where I’m gaining weight. . . . . I don’t feel like I’m gaining weight. . . . My clothes don’t say I’m gaining weight . . . . but numbers don’t lie. I figure it’s just taking time for my system to get used to all of this new food. My blood pressure was 107/68, and my temp 97.9. We actually turned the temperature in the house up, and it’s toasty warm this morning.

Breakfast was hearty and filling. . . . . . ham, egg, and cheese sandwich, toasted, with a bowl of oatmeal. *somewhat queasy* I think I’m going to be full the rest of my natural life. I have so much that I need to be doing. I need to be watching and writing a report on “Dying to be Thin”, painting Stripe Overload, and working through The Anorexia Workbook. Sounds like fun, no? Brittney and I are packing a picnic lunch and going to the park today . . . . There are several beautiful ones close by. My camera is THOROUGHLY unhappy with me, and has determined it will only turn on once a day, and that once a day will NEVER be when I want it to. In any case, yeah, plenty to keep me busy.

The past week has been a relatively good one. The biggest change, I’m going to have to say, has been in how long my anxiety lasts after meals. I’ve also warmed up to the idea of merely accepting thoughts and not acting on them.

1121. This morning, I have done a whole lot of. . . . . . . . .nothing. Well, that’s not exactly true. I have done enough Photoshop to frustrate a saint. No matter how I try to make it come out, it’s just not matching the picture in my head. Glorious. By the end of the day, though, I WILL have an awesomely amazing blog header. Until then, though, my blog can just be. . . . . . . ugh. Ugh. Lunch is in a bit, and then, the park. I will paint today, for real (not just in Photoshop), and I’m going to do laundry. What a glorious Saturday.

1233. I just ate lunch, which was a broiled tortilla with peanut butter. I got to cut out a bunch of not-so-fun stuff out of my meal plan, and we’re going for ice cream in order to make up the difference. How cool is that? I burnt my hand pretty nastily this morning. . . . . . I’d broiled my breakfast sandwich, and I pulled the plate out, and it took me forever to realize how hot it was. I honestly didn’t feel it, or really know until I looked down at my hand. Yeah, I’m feeling it now, though.

I still haven’t worked on any of my projects. I’m reading The Silence of the Lambs, and greatly enjoying it. Soon, though, it’s ice cream and park, and I will enjoy that more.

1504. We just got back from the park, and from our ice cream outing. It was awesomely fun. I got to cut out parts of lunch and dinner, and replace it with ice cream, which is actually very high in protein. 😀 My calorie count ended up lower than before, my fat content lower, and my protein higher. How cool is that??????

The temperature was amazing, the sky clear, and the park refreshing. Now, though, I’m just gonna lay down and take a nap. . . . . I’m tired.

1817. Dinner is long over; I ate around 1630. I had a turkey and cheese roll-up. . . . quite yummy. I’m still reading The Silence of the Lambs, although right now, I’m doing the homework Alex gave me, which is to watch Dying to be Thin and write up a report on it. Karen is the staff member who’s here right now; I’m working in my room so that she doesn’t have to sit through this documentary. I need to work on Stripe Overload, but I don’t know that it’s going to happen tonight. It might; it might not.

1953. I’m signing off for the night. I’m watched Dying to be Thin, and I’ve posted the paper that I turned in to Alex.


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